5. Watts (from Some Kind of Wonderful)
8. Sing (from Kung Fu-Hustle)
And then you have the idea to put the production credits and release date on bricks as if they were "graffiti'd" on like the "... PATIENT 67?" message. Come on people, that's just amateur stuff... drop those credits to the right hand corner.
At least "Patient 69" didn't go missing, because that would have sparked a whole bunch of dumb jokes,... none of which would have been tolerated here.
But whatever gripping technique our red sweatered friend used on Jackman (I'm guessing it was "the Tokyo drift"... a personal favorite of mine), it must've worked, because - as you'll see below - Hugh totally jizzed in his pants:
And how about our red-sweatered friend?? Talk about your bold pick-up move.
RSF: Hey. Hello mister X-Man Hollywood man. I want please to make you jizz hard and good.
HJ: G'Day young Hiroki. Whoa... AHHHuhhhaHHHuhhh ohh... CRICKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!
RSF: You date me now three years.
HJ: Ok. Hey... do you like boomerangs and Peter Weir?
Man, man, man... I freakin' love the Japanese. They're pretty much my favorite type of people ever.
But the truest reason why Magnificent Obsession wouldn't successfully play to crowded theaters today, is that it's just too earnest for its own good. Audiences would collectively laugh at a blind Jane Wyman feeling her way around a veranda, knocking a pot of the ledge, and sobbing into her palms. To reference Bergman again, I remember a friend telling me how hard it was for him to watch Persona because the style had been spoofed and parodied so much. That's true, but it's our responsibility to work through that. Which leads into another great reason to celebrate the release of Magnificent Obsession on DVD: you can watch it at home, alone, and away from the hipsters' snickers and scoffing, temporarily slipping into a time that is permanently gone.