Sunday, August 02, 2009

STREAM-OF-CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTION: THE COLLECTOR


[NOTE: This is where the blogger gives himself a strict 10 minutes to rattle off whatever about a movie he just saw that he doesn't feel deserves a thoughtful edited review but still feeds the need to feed the animals anyway. Quality is of no concern.]

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I went into The Collector thinking , "Hey, well, at least the limited theatrical release for this movie kinda signals the end of sadist-horror. Maybe The Collector is gonna be that horror sub-genre's swan song?" Then something odd happened. The first twenty minutes of the film were kind of good. It felt more like a Lodge Kerrigan psych-moody-indie horror than a splatter fest mixed with nasty sexuality of a RObert Mapplethorpe perspective. It was actually kind of ... nice. Oh, but what you can talk yourself into when the sound design of a film is well laid out and the projection is digital. I even let myself forgive the always irritating neo-horror credit sequence that has been the thing to do ever since Se7en and Mark Romanek's waaaaaaaaay overrated "Closer" video. You know... loud industrial music, loud industrial screams set against quick cuts (not even quick CUTS but like quick snippets) of medical tools, nails, blood, yellow skin, urine colored walls, mildew covered whatever. Yep, I even forgave that because as soon it as it was over The Collector went back into studiious mood horror. Oh, but yeah, that was just a tease. Soon the mildewy-ness and jaundice-ness take over the lighting and so does the sewing of mouths the emptying of bowels, the sexualizing of breasts and nailes and the licking of lips and the murdering of cats with acid and razorblades and the boxes with mooshy bodies in them and the stupid mask that the guy is wearing and the fish hooks in skin and the cutting if stomachs open so you can put bugs in them. It's all stupid, but what makes it horrible is that the directors shoot the film in a way that they want to one up their idiot French sadist buddies. It's artfully shot and well put together (in moments) but it's so bereft of substance than any positive technical things I can say about this movie really lose themselves). If you like the pre-production artwork drawings for Pascuel Laungier's idiotic Martyrs, you might like this movie. If you also get turned on by those drawings you will also probably like this movie. I like to think those type of people, also like listening to Einstürzende Neubauten. Well, they're on the soundtrack, so maybe I am onto something. I got no problem with people pleasing themselves in whatever sick sexual ways that they want, but to fuel that sexual energy in to a movie and call it "horror" is just silly. I did like the main actor though. Jeff "something". He was a good as a kind of hero in teh film, that, of course, in post-Saw fashion, doesn't escape. Tehre used to be a day when we were tired of the heroes and heroines always escaping the boogeyman in an horror film. Then things changed. I'm now tired of the bleak endings. I want happiness back. The Collector is like the opposite of The Last House on the Left remake which is actually far much better than people gave it credit for. In that film the family used their house to protect intruders. In The Collector, the intruder uses the house to slowly murder the owners. It's backwards and nasty. Also... I noticed that Bloody Disgusting and Shock Till You Drop were thanked in the credits. I kinda wondered how much those sites maybe were in the tank for crap movies like this. It's pretty clear now. I'm outta time...

91 comments:

Ed Howard said...

These kinds of movies give industrial music a bad name. Einstürzende Neubauten is a pretty good band, and so are plenty of other industrial outfits, despite their current status as the go-to music for scenes of "disturbing" violence and horror.

Fox said...

Ed-

Einstürzende Neubauten works for me in doses like someone like Throbbing Gristle does. I can't really get through full albums of theirs.

On the other hand, if it's noisy guitar stuff like The Dead C or some kind drone rock, I can let it go for hours. Oddly, I find that stuff calming.

BTW... have you seen/heard of this film called Severed Ways? My wife was watching it yesterday and the sound track is all Black Metal and Noise Metal. I saw parts in flashes but it seemed kind of interesting.

And since you're into noise, what is your opinion of Sunn 0)))? I've just recently heard them for the first time and have no opinion yet, but when I heard them I figured you had spent some time with their records.

Ed Howard said...

Yeah, TG is pretty cool as well. I especially love a lot of British industrial/noise stuff like Coil (probably my favorite band), Nurse With Wound, old-school Current 93, etc.

The Dead C's Trapdoor Fucking Exit is a great album. And I actually agree about how calming drone rock can be -- I can really zone out to stuff like Double Leopards or Sunroof or Skullflower.

I haven't seen Severed Ways, but it definitely sounds interesting. A lot of Burzum and Dimmu Borgir on the soundtrack, two bands I generally don't listen to much. As far as black metal goes, Darkthrone is the trashiest and roughest, while Abruptum is the noisiest. I also love some of the more relatively "polished" stuff like Emperor, Sigh, the totally silly and fun Arcturus, Satyricon, Immortal, etc.

I've heard a bit of SunnO))) but actually have never really explored them in depth. A big oversight, really, since I like a lot of similar stuff like Nadja (I even released a Nadja CD and an Aidan Baker side project on my label) and the Sunn side project Lotus Eaters.

Rick Olson said...

This is where the blogger gives himself a strict 10 minutes to rattle off whatever about a movie he just saw that he doesn't feel deserves a thoughtful edited review ...

So, you're referring to yourself in the third person, now? We are not amused ... And do you really thoughtfully edit your reviews? After all, it's only a blog ...

Fox said...

And do you really thoughtfully edit your reviews? After all, it's only a blog ......

Yikes Rick! That's quite a defeatist attitude for a man of God. I can't imagine what you tell the members of your congregation in their time of need.

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