Monday, July 27, 2009

HEY LOOK...

... another ridiculous and boring Jake Gyllehaal movie!!!


I mean, honestly, is there another actor out there as blank and monotonous** as this guy???

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**As with most mean things I say, I hope I'm ultimately wrong about J.H., because I'm really looking forward to Jim Sheridan's Brothers this winter (although I'm not too thrilled by its screenwriter).

16 comments:

Jason Bellamy said...

I mean, honestly, is there another actor out there as blank and monotonous as this guy?

Sure. Orlando Bloom. But then I don't have a problem with Jake Gyllenhaal, so don't go by me.

Marilyn said...

You didn't like Brokeback Mountain or his performance?

Fox said...

Jason-

Orlando Bloom is a good one (ie I agree about his blank-ness), but at least he's British and at least he mocked himself in an Extras episode.

They both look bad with long hair, though.

Fox said...

Hey Marilyn-

Nah... I didn't like Brokeback Mountain or Jake Gyllenhaal's performance. However, the things I did appreciate about Brokeback were the performances of Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams. On the other side, I though JG and Anne Hathaway were way goofy.

If forced to pick, I think Gyllenhaal is really strong in Zodiac. Though I'm wasn't a fan of the movie, I thought JG did a nice job (or maybe it was just good casting) of using his boyishness to play a green and newbie reporter. I think he would do well to play man-children instead of "men". He needs to use his dominating babyface features to his advantage (especially since I think he's range is so limited).

Hokahey said...

Hey, look! It's Captain Jack Sparrow Goes to Persia!

Fox said...

And hey, JG played a "Jack" in Brokeback too, so maybe you're onto something Hokahey.

The shiny leather pants help too (in the pirate sense, not the gay stereotype sense... sheesh people!).

whitney said...

Oh my god. Those pictures are amazing. Every still I see coming from this movie is blowing me away with its ridiculousness and shininess.

Fox said...

Whitney-

I know you've had that profile image for some time, but I like to imagine that that was the face you were making when you saw those pics.

Also. Whenever I see Prince of Persia pics, I just keep thinking of Brendan Fraser.

Craig said...

It looks like the Harlequin romance spoofed at the start of Romancing the Stone.

Fox said...

Nice call, Craig!

Movie geek juice is spraying all over this comment section today.

When I was a kid, I thought both Romancing the Stone and Jewel of the Nile were about the coolest movies ever. I wonder if they stand up at all. I would guess no, but maybe I should just rent them soon.

Anyone have any thoughts on those two films?

P.S. Maybe I just liked the movies b/c Kathleen Turner was one of my first boner-motivators.

Craig said...

Romancing the Stone was/is a vibrantly funny adventure-comedy, lazily mislabeled at the time as an Indiana Jones retread. The terrific original screenplay was by Diane Thomas, who had been recently a waitress to make ends meet, and who died in a car accident only a year later. The Jewel of the Nile missed her distinctive voice: it's hideous.

Craig said...

Also, I would be remiss if I didn't nod in respect at the term "boner motivator"....

Jason Bellamy said...

I wasn't motivated by my boner, but I watched Romancing the Stone less than five years ago. It holds up OK. I was amazed how much of the dialogue came flooding back to me. (I wore that movie out as a kid.) I think the strangest part is just remembering a time when we people were excited to see Douglas, Turner and DeVito together.

Anyway, there are still lines from this movie that I quote all the time, and never for a good reason. Sometimes it just feels right to say, "Jjjjjjjjjjjjoan Wilder? THE Jjjjjjjjjjoan Wilder?" I have no idea why.

Fox said...

Craig-

Great facts there on Romancing the Stone. I will definitely be revisiting it now.

And thanks for liking "boner-motivator". I like the cadence of it. If a rapper hasn't used it yet, he or she should consider it.

Fox said...

I think the strangest part is just remembering a time when we people were excited to see Douglas, Turner and DeVito together....

HAHA! A very excellent observation, seeing as how DeVito is a puffy drunk, KT is practically a man, and Michael Douglas... well, I kinda still think he's kinda cool, actually.

What about when we were excited to see Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenagger together on screen?? Or maybe that was just me. A Twins blog-a-thon? Oh yeah, I think it is very much needed!!!

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