Wednesday, June 24, 2009

THE ACADEMY AWARDS GETS A BOOB JOB

So, unless you've been reading about that thing in Iran or that dude in South Carolina, you've probably heard by now that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has decided to go TOP 10 with their Best Picture noms.

My first thought was, "well, this means they can at least throw a bone to the The Dark Knight crybabies this year by nominating something like Star Trek." (If Star Trek actually wins Best Picture this year, I will quit blogging for-ev-er ... write it down!). It's sorta like when the NCAA pats a BYU or a Utah or a Boise St. on the head ever year and gives them a BCS game (yes, I know Utah beat Alabama last year, but Alabama sucked, so just settle down. And please don't bring up that overrated Boise St./OU game, ok?).

Anyway...

So yes, what opening up the Best Picture category ultimately does is satisfy the people who cry "wtf?!?" on nomination morning every year. Let's say that we hit rewind and made 2008 a 10 Best Picture nomination year. What would have been added? Probably: Revolutionary Road, Gran Torino, The Wrestler, The Dark Night, and Wall-E. Right? No so hard to guess, I guess.

But the drawbacks... ohhhh, the drawbacks. What will the drawbacks be? :

1. About 20-30 minutes of added Oscars showtime.

2. The continuing "legitimacy" of so-so to below-average to just plain bad filmmaking.

3. Our theaters loaded up with Best Picture noms from December to Early March (I especially feel for the people who live in smaller cities... can you imagine Frost/Nixon holding up traffic for four months in a six-screen town?!? Eeeek! That makes me shudder).

4. Harvey Weinstein-style lobbying like you've never seen before.

5. A Nick Cassavettes movie getting nominated.

6. More molesting of DVD box covers.

7. More pulling of the hair by Arbogast.

8. More eye-gouging self-important interviews on The Charlie Rose Show.

... and that's enough for now.

Have a nice evening.

53 comments:

Fletch said...

Point. Less.

If I didn't know better, I'd think they were trying to cover up some nasty story by releasing this news today. It stinks of the kind of news that's meant to divert us from something more important and/or infuriating. But since it's not, it's just stupid...

Krauthammer said...

no not my precious oscars! will this mean something...mediocre may slip in? Perish the thought!

Ed Howard said...

Can everyone please stop writing about this so I can go back to ignoring the Oscars?

K, thanks, bye.

bill r. said...

throw a bone to the The Dark Knight crybabies...

As opposed, I guess, to the Confessions of a Shopaholic crybabies? People in glass houses, Fox.

sexy said...

情趣用品,情趣,情趣商品

情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣商品,飛機杯,自慰套,自慰,充氣娃娃,按摩棒,跳蛋,潤滑液,SM道具,SM,情趣內衣,情趣,角色扮演,丁字褲,吊帶襪,電動按摩棒,G點,巨乳,性感睡衣

Greg said...

Well, I was going to say 情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣商品,飛機杯,自慰套,自慰,充氣娃娃,按摩棒,跳蛋,潤滑液,SM道具,SM,情趣內衣,情趣,角色扮演,丁字褲,吊帶襪,電動按摩棒,G點,巨乳,性感睡衣 but Sexy beat me to it.

Thanks Sexy. Jerkwad!

bill r. said...

Sexy hit me up with one of those today, too. Like a fool, I just deleted it. Man, how I wish I could go back into the past and fix my mistakes...

Fox said...

Ed-

I'm doing a three part series on this story starting next Monday.

Bill-

Are there any COAS crybabies?? I certainly would call for Isla Fisher to be nominated for Best Actress - so far - for her role (one that I preferred to all of the ladies nom'd last year) in that movie, but I don't know of anyone else... and I think TDK fans wanted to suicide bomb the Academy last year. I DEFINITELY wouldn't go that far for Ms. Fisher. (I refuse to admit she's married to that guy.)

Greg-

Sexy does that ALL THE TIME! One time I formulated this awesome question for the President, and Sexy cut in line and totally stole my thunder.

She was all "()()()(), ***** + 4325 and you know how ^^^$%$$ @@@@ {}{}{}{}{} ?", and I was all, "Dammit, Sexy!!!".

bill r. said...

and I think TDK fans wanted to suicide bomb the Academy last year...

No they didn't.

Greg said...

Just so you two know, Sexy loved both TDK and COAS and was okay with neither getting nominated knowing that recognition from the laughably named Academy is meaningless.

Sexy is also saddened when two blogger pals fight over such things. As Sexy once said to me, "Greg," she said, "飛機杯,自慰套,自慰,充氣娃娃,按摩棒,跳蛋,潤"

God... so true Sexy. So true.

bill r. said...

I don't care about the Academy. I care about Fox's categorization of The Dark Knight's fans. Especially since he currently brings the film up more than anyone else I can think of.

充氣娃娃,按摩棒,跳蛋,潤滑 indeed!

Greg said...

If only Sexy were here, she'd say something brilliant, like 情趣內衣,情趣 and everything would be better.

Especially since he currently brings the film up more than anyone else I can think of.

Fox is going to be like those stand up comedians that still make the same jokes they made in the eighties, where they punctuate a joke by saying something like, "I pity the fool!" In thirty years Fox will keep making remarks to his grandchildren like, "I'm the Dark Knight fans would hate this movie" and his grandkids will be all like, "What the ...? What in the hell is this Dark Knight movie he keeps bringing up?"

Greg said...

That should be "I'm sure the Dark Knight fans..." Left out the word "sure." Sexy usually edits for me but she's not here right now.

Fox said...

Sexy's comments/posts makes me wanna fill out a Scan Tron or punch out votes in a MBL All-Star ballot.

Pat said...

There actaully was a time - though 1943, I believe - that the Academny nominated 10 films every year for Best Picture nominees every year. So maybe they're just reviving the original process.

But yeah, I know, even with 10 nominees a year, some of the most desrving films are still going to get overlooked.

Fox said...

Greg-

I was reading Hitchens latest column yesterday and he brough up the Iranian book My Uncle Napoleon, and how the title of that book has become kind of a playful all-encompassing phrase for when Iranians talk about conspiracies involving the Brits (and sometimes the CIA and the Jews).

I'm gonna do the same thing with "The Dark Knight fans" when my grandkids ask me questions.

"PeePaw, who was Al Qaeda?"

"Well... you know those The Dark Knight fans?"

AND...

"Grampy, what is a 'Branch Dividian'?"

"Well,... "

Of course, I will stress that not ALL The Dark Knight fans are bad people, and use Uncle Bill as an example of an exceptional TDKer.

Of course, by that point, Uncle Bill may have me in a head lock.

Fox said...

Pat-

Yeah. Selfishly, I would hope something like Happy-Go-Lucky would get nominated with a wider field, but... I don't know.

It's also interesting that the up to 1943 they nominated 10, b/c I can't imagine there were as many films being cranked out like there are today. Of course, I could be wrong since some of those directors made like eight movies a year.

Greg said...

Fox, I have a couple of purely statistical film books about the industry in my collection and when listing production for each year I can tell you they were far ahead of today's production amount, by hundreds! There were tons of movies (probably if you weighed them all, literally) being released by Hollywood in the thirties and forties.

And they still picked the wrong movie most of the time.

Fox said...

Greg-

I would love to have those kind of statistical books on hand! Do you know if you can still find them on Amazon or EBay? They sound fascinating.

If someone had the time, it would be interesting to figure the percentage of films, per year, that are currently unreleased and/or lost forever.

Greg said...

I bet you could find most of the same stats online. I have Oscar books that give ridiculous stats and percentages on things too. Which reminds me, I've got to get around to those memes, one of which is the book meme Bill tagged me for.

bill r. said...

one of which is the book meme Bill tagged me for...

Yeah! What about that!?

I'm pretty sure I didn't tag Fox for that one, because as we all know, he doesn't read.

bill r. said...

Actually, as it turns out, I did tag Fox for that one. And the only person who's actually done it is Ryan.

God, you guys all suck!

Greg said...

Rick and Pat tagged me for other memes too so I've got a few to take care of but you know I'll do yours first! BFF!

Fox said...

Greg & Bill-

On the book meme...

That's my bad, Bill, on not posting anything yet.

But until I get that post up, let me drop two well-worn books that never leave my bag.

This one.

and this one.

What do think???

Ed Howard said...

Level 3? You're "reading alone" now Fox? Congratulations on the big step.

bill r. said...

What the hell IS that Movie Magic book? It just looks like someone threw a bunch of different words into the title and a picture of an alien on the cover and called it a day.

Fox said...

Thanks Ed!

But my wife still has to help sound out certain words when I read that blog "ONLY THE CINEMA" because they review a lot of weird stuff over there. In fact, I think for this months TOERIFC they are hosting for a movie called Zwartboek, or something! HUH?!?!

Bill-

Did you see this part on the book description?:

"The cover of Movie Magic will appeal to fans of science-fiction movies as it shows an alien who could be straight out of Star Wars".

That's pretty awesome.

Ed Howard said...

Zwartboek? Is that even English? Crap, I hope it isn't one of those subtitled movies. I don't watch movies to read.

Fox said...

I don't watch movies to read....

Me neither. In fact, I was so excited in April when that snake egg movie we watched was actually in English because the director was from like Iceland or something.

Ed Howard said...

Actually, I think that director was a woman, wasn't she? Ingrid Bergman? She used to be an actress before she started making all those weird movies about snakes and old dudes playing chess.

bill r. said...

I offer this link with almost no comment. It's a movie blog, I guess, and I've heard this guy's radio show on occasion when going to see my family in Northern VA. It's...quite something. Just go to the review archives, and enjoy.

I particularly enjoy his in depth analysis of No Country for Old Men.

Fox said...

Bill-

I just read the first part of the NCFOM review and I'm already squinching my face by the way he "guarantees" that we will hate the last scene of the movie.

Umm... I think that's a great scene, actually.

Still he gave the movie 4 1/2 heads, so ... well ... now I go read on.

to be continued...

Fox said...

JESUS!!...

"Well, that writers name is Cormac McCarthy and has one a Pulitzer Prize for his writing."...

This guy has worse grammar & spelling skills than even I do! AND THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING!!!

bill r. said...

It's something, isn't it? I also love his description of Chigurh's weapon:

Now, let me get back to this dude's "air gun." When you first see this thing, it looks like an oxygen tank. He literally has a gun at the end of the oxygen tank and he pulls a trigger and it shoots air out at extreme speeds. I am guessing the air is as fast as a bullet because it causes the same damage. Watching him use this weapon is almost worth seeing the movie alone.

I don't quite know why the "air gun" makes it better to see this movie by yourself, but it's an intriguing concept.

Of course, he corrects his mistake about how the gun works, but he does so BEFORE he says the gun shoots nothing but air. Which is an odd way of doing it.

Fox said...

That part just made me laugh out loud in the office, especially when you were breaking it down.

"I am guessing the air is as fast as a bullet because it causes the same damage."...

Hilarious. I mean, don't they explain that its' a cattle gun in the movie??? And if they don't, you'd think he would look it up out of curiousity? I feel kinda bad for making fun, but maybe he's doing it on purpose like some kind of performance artist or something.

I also like the part where he defines "black comedy".

I like this too:

Those two guys actually define the word bad-ass. The just duke it out with bad-ass shot guns....

I don't think that precise firearm that Chigurh was using was a "shotgun"... but now I'm just being mean.

bill r. said...

Oh, he's not around. See, that's how you do it, Fox: you make fun of people when you can feel pretty comfortable in the fact that they'll never know about it. That's called "being civil".

Fox said...

Bill-

The thing is, I didn't initially gather that he goes on TV and has a radio show that is like a "real" radio show (his site says that he's interviewing Todd Phillips this week.) I thought he just did college chat show stuff, or something. Who is this guy!?? And what makes him such a "big daddy".

Let's get him to interview Ed Howard for July's TOERIFC! Hell... he can interview all of us!

BDK's site is like the Cake Wrecks of movie blogs.

bill r. said...

Yeah, I don't get why his radio show gets ANY guests. The last time I heard it, he had Sam Raimi and Pete Docter on. I only heard the Raimi interview, and it was a call-in, and Raimi was clearly just doing it as part of a promotional tour, but still...why is he on anyone's radar??

Marilyn said...

So nice of you to have such a great time while I was DYING yesterday. Fine. Don't care.

Fox said...

Marilyn-

What?!?!?!?

Marilyn said...

No, no, don't worry about me. I'll just sit here in the dark.

Actually, I'm feeling much better now.

Fox said...

Geez... I hope you are ok. I hope I didn't forget something that I was supposed to remember.

Did you have a health emergency yesterday? God, what a weird day yesterday was.

Marilyn said...

Nothing serious, though Wednesday night I was feeling pretty lousy. A 48-hour flu. Thinking about the deaths yesterday, I apologize for alarming you.

bill r. said...

Did something happen yesterday? Oh, hi Marilyn.

Marilyn said...

Bill, get your nose out of your pulpy books long enough to see the world around you. Not to mention MY suffering!

Ed Howard said...

Yesterday was a rough day. I just learned that Sky Saxon, singer of the great 60s rock outfit The Seeds, died yesterday too. And people say Farah Fawcett's getting overshadowed by Jackson.

Fox said...

Honestly, Farrah Fawcett had no pop-cultural impact on me, so her death didn't touch me at all. I can't even name something she was in besides Charlie's Angels, and even then, I never watched that show.

But MJ. That's huge no matter if you liked his music or not. I think overshadowing is inevitable and understandable on a day when someone of his stature dies. Not to disrespect FF or the the singer of The Seeds, but come on, it's freakin' Michael Jackson here.

Now, we could argue whether the coverage even needs to be as extensive as it has been. That's a fair point, I think. Meaning, let's not forget to keep our eyes on Congress while we talk about MJ... and by "our" I mean the news media.

bill r. said...

Michael Jackson's death shocked me, because he was so famous and it's so unexpected, but I didn't like his music, and I didn't like him.

Marilyn said...

Farrah Fawcett was perhaps a bigger presence to in recent years because of some of the projects with which she was involved. Despite being on "Charlie's Angels," she always seemed like a feminist to me - leaving the show after the first season when they wouldn't meet salary demands they probably would have for a man; dissing Lee Majors for being overbearing; refusing to marry Ryan O'Neal because she didn't want to be a wife anymore.

Not only that, but "The Burning Bed" was awesome, and she was awesome in it. The last thing of hers I saw was the very good Altman flick Dr. T and the Women. I thought she was perfect in it.

Fox said...

Wow. I had forgotten she was in Dr. T and the Women, maybe b/c the cast is so huge, but I really like that movie, so I guess I need to correct by original statement that I never liked anything she was in.

Reel Whore said...

If I haven't already said it, LOVE Jack's pic.

Valentine said...

Irish names

head hunters austin

how to write a cover letter

best friend quotes

how much is my house worth

breast augmentation sacramento

Ontario cottages for rent

direct investing

things to do in calgary

oliviapo said...

The continuing viagra generique here "legitimacy" of so-so to below-average to just Cheap achat viagra plain bad filmmaking.