Friday, October 31, 2008
THE HOTTEST WOMAN EVER BY THE NAME OF "OLGA"
The Russian Communist Party is pissed off that Ukranian-born actress Olga Kurylenko is the latest Bond girl in Quantum of Solace.
"In the name of all communists we appeal to you, prodigal daughter of poor Ukraine and deserter of Slavic world." (Yahoo)
If there's one thing Commies have never understood, it's the art of romance and seduction. (Why do you think Nabokov didn't fit in???) Granted, Eastern Europeans weren't exactly born with the type of diction that lends itself to window serenades and booty calls, but dudes need to learn a little finesse. That type of tone only works when you need your old lady to gnash some yeast.
"[The Soviet Union] gave you free education, free medical care but nobody knew you would commit an act of intellectual and moral betrayal that you would become a movie kept girl of Bond, who in his movies kills hundreds of Soviet people and citizens of other socialist countries: Cubans, Vietnamese, North Koreans, Chinese and Nicaraguans.
Sergei Malenkovich, head of the party's regional organization, told The Associated Press that latest Bond movie is 'an insult for Russians'. "
They do know about Red Dawn and Red Heat, right??
"In this movie they wanted to show that a Ukrainian girl sleeps with an American. It's a part of information and psychological war."
Actually, sir, the psychological war started when your former Prime Minister, now President, did the following in front of the world:
That will never not creep me out! Even if it was just a zerbert (I'm not convinced it was...) it's still icky-poo yucky! But the best thing about it is the kid on the left scratching his head like "Um,... what in the fu*king hell is he doing?!?".