Monday, May 05, 2008

LET'S DANCE! : DAVID BOWIE'S LABYRINTHINE HIP-SHAKE AND HOW IT GAVE ME TWO LEFT FEET

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Good Monday morning! This post belongs to Ferdy on Film's week long Dance Movie Blog-A-Thon. Please go on over to her site and read all of the entries on dance, dancing, and why Honey is much better than you think it is!
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It's a Gen X thang!... Ask anyone between the ages of 28-34 what they think about Jim Henson's Labyrinth, and you will be treated to a whole host of memories. From:

1. First-crushes on Jennifer Connelly.

2. Hoggle

3. Ludo

4. Sir Didymus - an old British fox with spectacles (yay for foxes!).

5. A swamp that farts.

6. M.C. Esher architecture realized.

...Or, in my case, the dance sequence with David Bowie (as The Goblin King) and his Muppet goblins to the tune of "Magic Dance".

Donned with a cotton-white fright wig, Bowie dances about his lair like a Disney fawn wearing knee-length leather boots and a bustier. If the poor baby in the scene wasn't scarred for life by that, he also had to deal with thirty or so dungeon Muppets toying with him.

[NOTE: Don't worry CPS. The child was the son of Labyrinth's conceptual artist Brian Froud, and he says the boy got a kick out of the scary Muppets. Froud said they were very sensitive about this. Now, as far as being held by David Bowie???... you'd have to ask the kid.]

Some of the goblins are actually just dwarfs or children dressed in costume, but the rest are Muppets manipulated by string or hands. Thus, the viewer is treated to one of my favorite styles of dancing... MUPPET DANCING! You know, the flopping spaghetti arms and legs with the wide-open jaw and side-to-side head bounce. It's so cute. If a human could pull it off, it would immediately spread across dance floors like Patrick Dempsey's African tribal moves in Can't Buy Me Love.

In the title to this post, I noted that David Bowie's dance gave me "two left feet", and that's no lie. Most nights, if I don't make it to the mattress before falling asleep, it's either on the floor or in a brown leather recliner while watching a movie. The last time I watched Labyrinth, it was the latter. In addition to my brain, my feet also fell asleep. I woke-up to the "Magic Dance" sequence, stood, and fell with all my weight on the right foot. I broke some bone in there, and was out of commission for six weeks. I was never a dancer, but after the accident, my moves made the Muppet goblins look like Gene Kelly.

You know how they say that when it rains you can feel it in your bones? Well, if the "Dance Magic" sequence is on TV anywhere within a 5 mile radius, my fifth metatarsal aches and I picture David Bowie in a thought cloud above my head cackling at me like a happy Muppet.

7 comments:

Marilyn said...

I think you could sue the producers for creating this poor condition. But being able to dance like a Muppet is too cool. Thanks, Mark, for the ingenious post!

ryan said...

You forgot the crazy Bowie codpiece he wears throughoutthe film. For a young queer like myself, that was a revelation. I can't say I found it attractive, particularly, but weird. And that freaked me out. Because I still liked looking at it.

WaywardJam said...

I was so close to writing about this for the Ferdy! Great choice of topic.

@Ryan - Whenever I here Dance Magic, Bowie's thrusting package is the first image that comes to mind, impossible to avoid! I always wondered if it were intentional by the filmmakers.

Fox said...

You guys weren't the only ones obsessed... check out this photo:

http://bp2.blogger.com/_2qPRxDxARm4/RzqN6qTUMRI/AAAAAAAABmg/BDRAGQ8cCyw/s400/davidbowiebulge.jpg

To be honest, I didn't really notice it that much, but now, yeah, I too wonder WHY the filmmakers did it. I think some Bowie bulge research is required.

Hey, Marilyn! There's another bog-a-thon topic: Great Movie Bulges Blog-A-Thon! :)

Marilyn said...

You'll have to do that one yourself, though there are an awful lot of them on ballet dancers...

Fletch said...

Lucky for me, despite my age (31), I didn't see Labyrinth until about a year ago, so I didn't have the chance to be scarred by it.

What a terrible movie. I can't imagine liking it even as a child. And yes, the codpiece was disturbing. Very disturbing.

Fox said...

I think Labyrinth is one of those "unreviewable" movies for me. I don't know if I could have an opinion on it b/c it's such a memory factor for me.

Here's one: I remember watching it Easter Sunday morning after church, right before we got to go to Steak & Ale for the first time. And I remember my sister taking me through the salad bar and loving i soooooo much!