Saturday, April 19, 2008


"Someone made a mistake... someone made a big f*cking mistake!" howls a member of a military unit, not ten minutes into the new comedy-horror film Zombie Strippers. Yeah,.. me too! For I thought maybe - just maybe - this b-movie could be a clever, much-needed tweak for a horror sub-genre that keeps repeating itself. You know... some "brain dead" dancers taking easy money from some "brain dead" horny fat men. That's a premise ripe for some slap-n-slash fun!

But nope. Zombie Strippers is as basic and banal as its title and poster suggest: Jenna Jameson turns into a zombie, and you see her weird looking tits a lot. The unintended joke, though, is that Jameson looks more dead when she's "alive" with her new toothpick frame, plastic surgery stare, and grotesque platypus lips.

Oh sure... writer/director Jay Lee tries to give his movie meaning with D.O.A. socially & politically aware jokes, followed-up by forced references to existentialist philosophers Nietzsche and Sartre (apparently Lee was influenced by the Absurdist French play Rhinoceros), but the results are blush worthy embarrassing... like, well, like listening to a beard-puller attempting to impress by referencing Nietzsche and Sartre.

Prior to Zombie Strippers, I thought I had heard President Bush blamed for just about everything. Well, you can add "zombie outbreak" to that list.

The SETUP: George W. Bush - in his "4th term" - has created a virus that reanimates dead soldiers so they can fight his endless wars. Our President has also banned "public nudity" which has forced strip clubs underground [NOTE: Obviously Lee doesn't understand that stripping in a club is not "public nudity"... this is the brainpower we're working with here]. One of the soldiers at the compound, where the virus is created, gets infected and then stumbles into a strip club. PRESTO!

Knee-jerk reference points for horror fans will be Day of the Dead, Joe Dante's short film Homecoming, and the great Deathdream. Yet Zombie Strippers doesn't contain even 1/8th the smarts of those films. Lee invokes the military, war, Bush-bashing, conformity, and other hot button issues, not because he cares, but because it's fashionable to do so. The directors of the aforementioned movies did their homework, but with Lee you just get the impression he saw a newspaper once or twice.

An easy joke would be "How many men did Jenna Jameson have to sleep with to get this movie made and into theaters?". The sad truth is that you can answer that, and it's probably around 873. Jenna... sweetie... please just recoil, start a family, and take some time to take care of yourself. Cuz really, getting top billing in this piece of crap is way more degrading than that facial you got from Peter North in The Kiss.


Jason Bellamy said...

Ha! Nice close! Anytime you can work Peter North into a review, it's a good one.

Eric said...

Very effective material, thank you for this post.

Blogger said...

I've just installed iStripper, and now I can watch the hottest virtual strippers on my taskbar.