Tuesday, April 08, 2008


While I was watching The Ruins yesterday, I couldn't stop thinking about "The Raft" episode of Creepshow 2. Not only because both contain the man vs. possessed nature angle to them, but because both made me feel sexually uncomfortable in the face of a character's oncoming death. I don't know about you freaks out there... and I love you freaks, I do!... but sex and gore don't mix for me.

I first saw "The Raft" episode when I was in junior high. For the unfamiliar, let me quickly set it up... Four high school kids (2 boys, 2 girls) go rafting on a lake. The lake has a blobby tar-like substance below its surface that swallows the kids whole. Well... there is a scene where one of the boys cops an illegal feel on one of the girls ("illegal" because she's asleep). Morally repugnant? You bet. Sexually arousing at the age of 14? ... uh huh!

But then the softcore Mischief/My Tutor-era erotica is disrupted when the blob comes through the raft and attaches itself to the girls face. Was this simply a clever scare set-up, or, sinister allegory for every sexually frustrated male teen that can't quite get what he wants. BUMMER man! And yeah, and I watched it again and again (yay for the pause button!...) and yeah, the result was always the same. :(

In The Ruins, the hot girl is Laura Ramsay. Most of you will recognize her from She's The Man as Amanda Bynes' nemesis . Director Carter Smith knows the luck he's been dealt from casting, and - depending on your take - either exploits Ramsay's beauty, or, uses it like a dangling carrot through the film's least interesting moments.

I forget how it happens, but Ramsay somehow ends up in panties and tighty-whitey tank after the four teens (2 boys, 2 girls) find themselves surrounded and screwed atop a centuries old Mayan temple. I guess the skimpy attire assists in letting the audience see the squirming creepy crawlies that have infested Ramsay's body,... and I guess somethings wrong with me for still looking at her body during these moments.

Even in her last gasps, as Ramsay limps for a knife in order to cut out any remaining demonic vines from her body, I found myself staring at her backside and thinking: "nice butt".

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