Saturday, December 08, 2007

CONDOMENTS


*************WARNING*************

THE FOLLOWING POST IS EXTREMELY GRAPHIC IN NATURE. ANY JOKES, COMMENTS, OR MISCELLANEOUS CRUDITIES THAT YOU MAY FIND OFFENSIVE ARE NOT THE FAULT OF TRACTOR FACTS.

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Yeah, yeah.... so we here at Tractor Facts will sometimes post on sick and perverse news stories. We're not proud of it, but we feel it's our duty to not edit our blog posting instincts. (take this as some type of SECOND WARNING before reading any further...)

.....

What's gross? : eating a Whopper.

What's grosser than gross? : eating a Whopper... with an unwrapped condom in it!!!!!

Ohhhhhh yeah... it happened. A man in Vermont took home his fast food meal and when he bit into the burger, he found himself playing tug-o-war with a jimmy hat!:

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"My third bite into the burger, it was just a foreign taste," he said. "It was a very sour, bitter sort of taste. It almost had a numbing sensation.


"As I went to bite down a little harder, I felt a rubber grind in between my teeth. I saw it half in my mouth, half hanging out. It was an immediate sick-to-my-stomach type of thing." (AP)

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Uh, yeah... I bet it was. In fact, I'll bet it was more of an immediate vomit-on-the-walls-and-gargle-with-alcohol-for-20 minutes type of thing.

But Burger King is a little suspicious since the man waited three weeks to report to them about the Condom Whopper w/Smegma Cheese.

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Hartless' lawyer, Devin McLaughlin, said he had Hartless undergo a lie detector test before the suit was filed, and that he passed "with flying colours."


Hartless said he has suffered from vomiting, nightmares and emotional distress. He said he also has incurred medical expenses, because he's worried about whether the condom had been used.

He said he stored the sandwich and its original wrapper in a plastic bag in a freezer in his garage.
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The crime scene investigators sent the wrapper to the lab to look for any semen or DNA evidence.

The most tragic thing about this story, is that Mr. Hartless was so close to avoiding this whole ordeal, "I ordered the burger without mayo, so it shoulda been a red flag when I saw the white sauce coming out the bun... it looked suspiciously clumpy too, but, you know... I was hungry!"**

**(this quote was not sourced and, thus, may not be totally reliable information)

1 comment:

Ely said...

So, I do not really consider it may have effect.
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